Blooming Wand
Welcome to Blooming Wand! Your sanctuary for grounded spiritual growth and authentic connection. I'm Emily O'Neal, an evidential psychic medium, intuitive healer, and coach helping you rediscover your inherent spiritual wisdom.
Each of us is born with a powerful intuitive connection to the unseen realms of energy and spirit. Yet life's challenges and societal expectations can dim this inner light. Through evidential mediumship, tarot insights, intuitive guidance, and transformative coaching, I offer a practical, evidence-based approach to spirituality that helps you reconnect with your intuitive self and ancestral wisdom.
I currently reside on Cowlitz lands in what is also known as Vancouver, Washington. My practice honors both place and lineage as I support others in their spiritual journeys.
Join me for conversations about developing intuition, communicating with Spirit, ancestral healing, and accessible spiritual tools for everyday life.
Blooming Wand
November 1st New Moon Tarot Curated Insights: Embracing Authenticity and Integrity
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What happens when you align your goals with your core values? Emily O'Neal invites you on a journey to uncover the secrets of authenticity and integrity through the mystical lens of the Forest of Enchantment tarot deck.
Discover how the Seven of Challenges, Keeper of Boons, and Six of Spells illuminate the importance of staying true to our ethical compass. By sharing personal stories and reflections, Emily uncovers how these tarot archetypes resonate with our lives, urging us to prioritize authenticity over shortcuts, both in career pursuits and personal growth.
In a world where gender stereotypes often dictate professional journeys, Emily tackles the unique challenges women face in business. From navigating the "motherhood penalty" to breaking free from societal expectations, this episode shines a light on the pressures women encounter in balancing family and career.
Through candid discussion, Emily advocates for gender equity, mentorship, and open dialogue, offering insights into how women can confidently navigate these hurdles. Empowerment and advocacy become key themes, as Emily emphasizes the importance of a supportive network and self-awareness in pursuing success.
Emily offers practical strategies for maintaining authenticity in challenging environments. By setting clear intentions, practicing mindfulness, and building a network of support, listeners are encouraged to align their actions with personal values. This episode also highlights the power of effective communication and reflection, showcasing how embracing one's true self leads to both joy and fulfillment. Concluding with an invitation to explore self-reflection tools, Emily encourages listeners to embark on their personal growth journey with confidence and hope, championing a path that stays true to their values.
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Exploring Tarot Archetypes and Authenticity
Speaker 1Welcome to the Blooming Wand Podcast. I'm Emily O'Neill, evidential, psychic Medium, intuitive Healer and Coach. Here on this podcast I guide you on a journey of self-reflection using the wisdom of the tarot. As the moon waxes and wanes, so do our own inner tides, and as a way to honor moon cycles and life cycles, on each full and new moon I pull three cards which inspire an intention and affirmation to illuminate your path. Think of them as themes to guide you as you move through coming days. So grab your journals, light a candle and settle into the present moment.
Speaker 1Let's delve into the enchanting archetypes of the tarot, uncovering the magic and messages they hold for all of us. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive in. So on November 1, we have a new moon, so you know the drill. I have a new tarot curated intention and affirmation for us to work with, and these tarot curated insights are really to help you explore your life. And know that I'm also doing the same thing with these intentions and affirmations. I'm exploring my life and I will incorporate just some examples from my personal experience into this podcast, and I hope you find it helpful, and just know that I love to hear from you guys, so feel free to share your experiences with the tarot curated theme from this moon cycle, and this moon cycle the theme really is all around the importance of authenticity when we're pursuing success. So I have pulled three cards from the Forest of Enchantment tarot deck and we pulled the seven of challenges, which is the seven of swords, the keeper of boons, which is the king of pentacles, and the six of spells, which is the six of wands, and you might recall that we pulled the six of wands on the full moon. Now, whenever I see a card repeat itself in a short amount of time, I always pay extra special attention. Sometimes people refer to cards that show up a lot when we work with a tarot stalker cards. So I guess you could say that the six of spells is kind of our stalker card right now, which is not a bad archetype to have kind of circling us. So reoccurring cards are an invitation to spend extra time with an archetype and consider what additional messages it might have to share. And so we'll pay a little extra attention to the Six of Spells, which, in this particular deck, is a delightful card. It has a little baby dragon on it and it's just so cute.
Speaker 1Now let's dive into our intention. So our intention is this In today's fast-paced world, doing whatever it takes to get ahead can be a very seductive option, but while taking shortcuts or sacrificing values could seem like a quick way to get ahead, these actions can ultimately lead to negative consequences. So it can ultimately lead to negative consequences, such as guilt, shame and the loss of integrity. Here's your affirmation I can stay true to my ethics and values and become successful on my own terms, and I want to point out that immediately when my mind goes to like getting ahead or living in a fast paced world, it thinks I think career, but the reality is is if you have a passion project, if you're an artist, if you're a creative, if you're working on projects that are special to you, if you're trying to work at a nonprofit or you're working in social justice, there's all kinds of ways that this topic, this intention and affirmation can apply to you, me or other people. So don't limit it to just career or the ways in which you can make money, because you know people have all kinds of reasons for wanting to get ahead or how they view success and what success is, and sometimes it's related to money and how much money they're making or material things, and other times it's just that they want to accomplish a specific goal and they want to do anything they can to get there. And that can be a really healthy hardworking attitude. And it can turn not so healthy when we find ourselves sacrificing our values just to get something done essentially, or achieve a goal.
Speaker 1So let's dive into the tarot archetypes, beginning with the seven of challenges. Now, the seven of challenges can represent taking shortcuts or compromising values for personal gain. And when I look at this specific card from the Forest of Enchantment tarot deck, I see three foxes sneaking away from a campsite. They've crept in quietly with the intention to slink away, you know, with the camper's personal belongings. You actually see them doing just that. One's got a little accordion, a teacup, one has a bag of money, one's got a little accordion, a teacup, one has a bag of money, and the camper looks like they're in their little place sleeping away, or maybe they're awake and working on something. And the foxes have come in quietly and run off with their stuff. And while it's true that the fox may be doing exactly what it needs to survive, perhaps their survival needn't be at the cost of another's well-being or their own integrity. Such actions might lead to short-term gains, but they can ultimately be unsatisfying and lead to guilt.
Speaker 1Now, I don't want to take this idea of the foxes too literally. Right, we're looking at symbolic imagery and I think many of us have heard the term the sly as a fox being slick, knowing how to get what you want by using any means necessary, and you know what. I don't think that's all the time the wrong thing to do. Sometimes we do need to do whatever it takes to get ahead. I think it depends on the circumstance. As you all know, I tend to not want to view things in terms of this or that or black or white, but for the purposes of this conversation we really are exploring is that really necessary? Taking shortcuts, compromising values, doing whatever it takes to get ahead? I think we've all found ourselves doing things of that nature at various points in our lives. I mean, we are all human beings and I think it's good to take those things into consideration. And I think we've all been tempted who hasn't been tempted? To take a shortcut to get ahead? So we're not going to say, oh, the foxes are so bad, right, we're going to say that's interesting that the foxes are doing that. Let's explore it some more Now.
Speaker 1Moving on to the Keeper of Boons and the Six of Spells, these cards emphasize the importance of perseverance, hard work and staying true to yourself while working towards long-term success and fulfillment. They remind us that true success comes from aligning one's actions with their values and pursuing goals in an authentic way. So let's look at the Keeper of Boons. When I look at the Keeper of Boons, I see a man seated in a crystal cave In fact, there are crystals all around him and he holds a warm cup of tea in his hands and he has various spiritual tools laying at his feet and a badger at his side. Light surrounds him and he looks really happy. And when I gaze upon his smiling face, I'm reminded that taking pleasure in daily tasks brings joy to hard work. And I feel like the Keeper of Boons is here to remind us that crystals don't form overnight and if we work hard hard like a diligent badger, we'll get where we need to go. And so let's dive into the symbolism of the badger, because I'm sure the artist didn't just randomly place a badger on this card.
Speaker 1The badger, as a spiritual symbol, often represents strength and resilience. Badgers are known for their tenacity and ability to dig burrows, symbolizing the ability to overcome challenges. They're solitary creatures, often seen as symbols of self-reliance and as burrowing animals. Badgers are associated with the earth, and that can symbolize grounding and stability. So when I look at the Keeper of Boons or the King of Pentacles, I've always felt that it's an archetype that has kind of built its wealth, its abundance, its prosperity, its material gain, its spiritual gain, its emotional gain, by building on a strong foundation that probably is, you know, centered around some core values and principles, and I feel like when we know what our values are, we can act accordingly if that makes sense. And so we'll dive into this a little bit more.
Speaker 1But next I want to go into the six of spells. So when I look at the six of spells, I see witches, I see wizards and wise ones delighting in the hatching of a baby dragon. Who doesn't love to see a dragon on a tarot card? I know I do. I feel like they've tended to the hatchling's egg for some time and they're delighted now to have a living, breathing baby dragon in their midst. Everyone, including the dragon, has a face filled with delight. I'm also noticing that the dragon is really soaking up all the admiration that these wise ones are bestowing upon it. I mean, they're truly delighted at its hatching and everybody is smiling. And in the very back of the card, one of the figures has both of their hands over their chest like, oh my gosh, I'm so delighted and happy Now.
Speaker 1The Six of Spells symbolizes the power of your intentions and the ability to manifest your desires, and it encourages you to focus on your goals and believe in your ability to achieve them without taking any shortcuts, them without taking any shortcuts. And since the Six of Spells has been with us for two moon cycles, I wanted us to really take that on board. We have the power to manifest our desires, and I'm not talking about manifesting by wishing or, you know, watching the Secret or doing anything like that or diving into Abraham Hicks's work. Not at all. It's more of what do you desire and how can you take mindful action to work towards cultivating those desires and honoring those desires, whatever they may be, and knowing that if your desires and your values are aligned with your actions, you're eventually going to have a life that feels fulfilling.
Speaker 1And I don't think fulfillment is an endpoint or a destination. I think it's a practice and a process and a journey, and I think that that's something I try to think about when I'm cultivating my personal and professional goals is that Am I going to be fulfilled along the way? Do I take pleasure in my work? Can I enjoy this process and constantly be taking time to reevaluate things along the way? Now, let's just think about it. You know that part of this theme is man. I'm kind of tempted to take some shortcuts or sacrifice my values to just get a few steps ahead, and I want us to ponder this. Could the little dragon take shortcuts to hatching? No, it had to go through its full growth cycle. That can't be sped up or slowed down or the hatching won't happen. Could the wise wizards and witches have made the little dragon hatch before its gestation cycle had been completed? No, they had to let it take the time that it needed to take. Would they all be as happy if they tried to move things along before their time? Probably not.
Speaker 1And lastly, I want to point out that there are two themes connected with these two archetypes of the Keeper of Boons and the Six of Spells in this particular tarot deck, and that is, they both demonstrate joy and delight. I mean, there are faces in here that are very happy. They've all endured a process where they have worked and tended and efforted and they're happy. And while these archetypes are associated with hard work, which can be tedious, daunting, challenging we know what hard work is like, right, we've all done it they do remind us that if we're going to work hard, it's beneficial to find some pleasure in that hard work. And a wise men's store told me, the juice has to be worth the squeeze. So when you're doing your hard work, is the juice worth the squeeze? And that's a question that I often ask myself. So what's the theme? Overall, these cards together suggest that while shortcuts or compromises might seem tempting, they are ultimately not a path to lasting fulfillment.
Speaker 1True success comes from staying true to yourself and pursuing your goals with integrity. Now, identifying your core values is a crucial step in aligning your actions with your intentions. I can't tell you how many times, when working with the tarot or just working with clients, or on this podcast, we have talked about identifying core values as being an important step to many things in our lives. So ask yourself what principles are most important to you, what qualities do you admire in others and what kind of a person do you want to be, and this can help you start to understand your core values. So one of my core values in my work here at Blooming Wand is to raise the standard of care in the industry, meaning that it's important to me to demonstrate ethics and integrity in the field of evidential psychic mediumship. I also feel that one of my values is to demonstrate that the tarot mediumship, psychism and journaling, frankly are effective intuitive healing modalities that can make a big impact on people's lives, and you don't have to become a professional psychic medium to see those benefits. So those are some of my professional values.
Speaker 1On a personal level, I value kindness and empathy and hard work. I also value honesty and integrity. I think those things are all very important to me. I also really value authentic communication. So when people are able to feel like they can be their true selves, I think that that is such an awesome thing and it's something I actually place a really high value on. So do these values change? Yeah, to some degree they do, but there are ones that just stick with me all the time, and it'd be interesting to know if you feel that you've had values that have been with you for a really really long time, and some that have evolved or changed. I think that's always kind of a cool thing to take a look at Now, on a personal note, I really do genuinely engage in this practice of identifying core values, aligning them with my goals and intentions and visualizing like can I get there?
Speaker 1How can I get there? So one of the things I wanted to mention is, once you've identified your core values, evaluate your goals to ensure that they're consistent with your values, which sounds really simple, but it kind of isn't so. Are your goals aligned with your sense of purpose and meaning? And then visualize your desired outcome, paying attention to your emotions and sensations. During this visualization and this is something that I didn't ever really think to do until a couple of years ago it's like, okay, I kind of have some intentions, I have some goals, Yep, I feel like they're aligned with my values. But I never stopped to visualize myself actually Okay, I've met that goal, I've carried those values forward. What would it feel like to be in that place of accomplishment? And I've started to do that a little bit more, and it's been really helpful in terms of building trust with myself and also building a sense of self confidence.
Speaker 1And I want to loop back to one of the things I said earlier about finding joy in the work. That's been also really important to me, because things have often taken longer than I thought they would in terms of realizing my intentions and goals. But one of the positives of that is I really take a lot of pleasure in what I do. So the fact that sometimes things take longer it didn't bother me that much, because I enjoy what I do. So again, I want to mention that this is a practice that I engage in and I'm so I'm super curious to know how it works for you or if you find it useful. And I just want to say that, you know, as a spiritual woman in business, and in a spiritual business at that, I often have to weigh my values and my goals and I have to ask myself what's my intention in doing this work. It's true that part of that intention is, in fact, making money and earning a living, but definitely not at the cost of my values. But with that said, I can tell you I see a lot of people in my line of work doing all kinds of crazy things to get attention and to get ahead, and the truth is they often do, and while that saddens me, I know that that's not my path, but I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't sometimes tempted.
Speaker 1Now, how about you? How do you stay true to your path? Do share. You know I love to hear from you and I did forget to mention earlier on. Don't forget to check out the cards to see what their imagery awakens in you. If you're not receiving my new newsletter, I'd invite you to sign up. You'll get the new and full moon intentions and affirmations sent right to your email inbox. You can see the cards that way, but if you want to take a look at them from the website, you can do so by going to bloomingwandcom click, explore and go to the blog. You'll see a transcript of this podcast there, as well as pictures of the cards, because I do think looking at the imagery is very, very helpful to understanding how the heck I came up with this intention and affirmation. Now let's take the exploration of these archetypes into some action, into the real world.
Speaker 1Now, we've all been confronted with the desire to take shortcuts on the path to success. We've all been confronted with it, knowing that, coming from a place of non-judgment, let's explore why we might be tempted to sacrifice our values to get ahead, and I'll also be diving into some unique challenges for women in business, because I am a woman in business, I've been in the corporate world, I've run my own business and, I have to say, being a woman entrepreneur or being a woman in business, we have some interesting challenges that we have to face while navigating, staying true to our values in sometimes very challenging environments. So we'll kind of take a little dive into that too, because I'm very personally interested in that and I hope that it's something that you find interesting too. Now we've all been confronted with the desire to take shortcuts on the path to success and achievement, and so, knowing that, let's explore why people might be tempted to sacrifice values to get ahead. Now, societal expectations and the desire for personal achievement can sometimes lead people to feel pressured to take shortcuts and compromise their values. So, societal expectations, oh my gosh, if you're living in the United States, it's a fast-paced world where a lot of times we're being influenced by content. That's like you got to go faster, you got to work harder, you got to do more. That's not enough. And it's like, whoa, I'm already working really hard. And so, if you're already working really hard. Shortcuts can look desirable, even if they mean you're going to maybe compromise your values.
Speaker 1The pressure to succeed is a potent motivator. The pressure to succeed is a huge motivator and it's something that's been drilled in our heads in a lot of our heads in a lot of different ways over a long time. And if we're not careful, our desire to get ahead might cloud our better judgment, and I know that in some ways that has happened to me. I have always been a hard worker and like pushed myself, and sometimes I never stopped to think why am I working this hard and who am I doing this for and where am I trying to go? And a lot of times it was from external influences that made me feel like you need to live the corporate life, you need to work extra hours to get ahead, you need to make a certain amount of money to be a valuable person in this world, and so I would just work myself to death. And while I certainly wasn't taking shortcuts at the time, I was sacrificing my values because I value quiet time and downtime and reading and art, and I literally had no time to play the piano or read a book during that time where I was just feeling such a tremendous pressure to succeed, so pretty much all I did was work. I bet there's some of you that can relate to that. I was a total workaholic.
Speaker 1Now, the promise of quick and easy success can be tempting, especially in a competitive environment and when we feel a sense of urgency or need, like everybody's getting ahead and I'm not urgency or need, like everybody's getting ahead and I'm not. Short-term gains can become very, very appealing, even when they lead us to compromise personal and professional values. And we're going to dive into some examples in a little bit about what those can look like, but for now I'm kind of just giving some overview of how might this look. The fear of failure or falling behind can motivate people to take risks or engage in unethical behavior. And experiencing failure or having to admit defeat and feeling like we've lost a battle or an opportunity can be a really hard thing to go through. And knowing that maybe knowing we want to avoid those things we might be tempted to ignore our values to get ahead. So we don. We want to avoid those things. We might be tempted to ignore our values to get ahead, so we don't want to fail, and so we kind of overlook certain things to get ahead. This one is really interesting to me and I had a hard time trying to figure out how to phrase it or put it, and I think I've got it down.
Speaker 1But people who doubt their abilities may feel that they need to take shortcuts or compromises to get ahead. Because believing in oneself is a powerful thing and if you lack that, that's going to impact you. And when we don't have confidence in our skill or ability, or if we feel that the world won't value us or value our skill and ability, that the world won't value us or value our skill and ability, our belief that we can achieve our goals, it goes down. It goes down, and this can tempt us to try another way, and it could be one that might lead us astray. So we don't think we're as good as we are at what we do, and so we might do other things to make us look better at it than we are, or just kind of fake it till we make it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if you're faking it too much, it could be right, and especially in certain circumstances.
Speaker 1Another interesting one is the desire to fit in or be accepted by others can lead people or us to engage in behaviors that go against our values. We've all seen peers, colleagues or people in similar industries or similar circumstances get ahead by doing things we might find questionable, and when we see people doing questionable things and getting ahead, we might feel tempted to follow along. Everybody else is doing it, everybody else is getting away with it. They're getting ahead, they're making the money, they're achieving the goals. Why am I trying to take the high road and do the right thing? I'm going to do what they're doing and I'm going to get ahead too. So I kind of link this to peer pressure, which comes in all kinds of forms, and it's really something to be mindful of.
Speaker 1And this is one that really really resonated with me because, like I've mentioned, in my particular industry of working as an evidential psychic medium, I've seen a lot of things. Things and a lot of it has been concerning to me, and I see people engaging in what I feel are maybe not ethical or practices that aren't in alignment with integrity, in my opinion making a lot of money and getting ahead and I'm like, well, if I just did that, I'd be doing a lot better financially, but there's just something inside of me that's like can't do it, but I think that this is a common thing. Everybody else is doing it, so why can't I, why don't I? And that's a really good question, and this is something I really felt in a lot of different ways as a young person. So I wonder if this one resonates with you as much as it did with me.
Speaker 1Now, I wanted to make this more tangible, so here are a few examples of taking shortcuts or sacrificing values, and one common example is cheating, whether it's academic dishonesty or engaging in fraudulent behavior. Another is cutting corners, which might involve sacrificing quality or safety to meet deadlines or save money. And the examples I'd like to focus on most this moon cycle are compromising ethics or ignoring personal values, and this could mean engaging in unethical behavior like bribery or corruption for an advantage, or neglecting one's beliefs to conform to societal expectations or just trying to please other people. Now, these shortcuts, while tempting in the moment, can have long lasting consequences. It might lead to short term success, but the longer lasting consequences might not be as nice, and so they can. You know, shortcuts can erode trust, damage relationships and ultimately leave us feeling, frankly, unfulfilled. Right, because you might achieve the goal. You might have taken those shortcuts and then felt like, oh man, I only got here because I did X, y, z and that's not really who I am and I don't want to keep having to do those types of things. If that makes sense, do those types of things if that makes sense. So it's important to remember that true success comes from aligning our actions with our values and pursuing our goals with integrity.
Speaker 1I think I must have said that so many different ways right in this episode, but I think it's valid and I think it comes up in a lot of different areas of our lives and we're going to shift gears a little bit and focus not on bring this kind of home in terms of women in business, because that's a topic that's close to me and I'm interested in it and, frankly, most of my audience is females and I think that we've all can understand some of these experiences, and so I share them as a way to kind of, you know for myself, process my experience in the corporate world and as a female entrepreneur. So let's go ahead and dive into some of these unique pressures that women face in business and of course, the first kind of chunk is around gender stereotypes and expectations. So one of the things that came up to me or that I thought of was that women are often expected to juggle their professional and personal lives. You know they do a lot at home and they're doing a lot at work, leading to pressure to prioritize family and domestic responsibilities potentially over career advancement or vice versa. So I feel like I have seen women really struggle with they want to have a fulfilling career and there's a lot to do at home, or they're making decisions around how am I going to spend time with my young children while also having a busy career? And I'm not saying that other people don't experience this as well, but as anyone who's birthing or giving birth, I think that this is a particularly potent struggle, and, while I have chosen not to have children for a variety of reasons, I've worked shoulder to shoulder with women who are juggling this or trying to figure this out, and I think it's something. I don't have the answers to it. I don't think anybody does, and I think we all have to lean into our own process and our own journey when it comes to that, but I do think values and getting ahead come into play here. Right, it's sort of like, well, I value my family, but I also value my career. How do I take care of both at the same time? And I would offer this. Those might be values that you have, but who said we have to take care of them both at the same time? I don't know if we can. Sometimes we maybe lean into one over the other, and I think that's totally fine.
Speaker 1The other thing, in terms of just gender stereotypes and expectations, is that women's accomplishments are sometimes downplayed or attributed to external factors rather than their own abilities, reinforcing gender stereotypes, and I know that I definitely experienced this. So, when I was working in the corporate world, I know that I was working at a level that was sometimes beyond that of my male counterparts, but I would always find that my male counterparts were being praised and like, oh, you did such a good job, and it was just assumed that I would just be doing all this work and doing a good job, and I very rarely, if at all, got any recognition, and I can tell you I certainly didn't get the bonuses or the raises, and we'll talk about the pay gap later on. Now, the next one is definitely something I've experienced, and it's the nice girl dilemma, or the good girl dilemma, and so women feel pressure to be nice and good, to avoid conflict, which can hinder their ability to negotiate for better opportunities or stand up for themselves, hinder their ability to negotiate for better opportunities or stand up for themselves, and I also think that we want to present ourselves often in a way that's pleasing to our counterparts, no matter whether they're male, female, they them, however people identify. It's a thing for those of us raised as girls that we feel like we, particularly with white women. I've noticed and I can't speak to other people's experience because I have not lived them but this good girl thing runs deep and it does often mean that not only do we not stand up for ourselves because we want to be a quote good girl, but we don't stand up for others when we should. So this is an interesting thing, right, and that can lead to us not maybe honoring our values now. Would that mean it's a shortcut? I don't necessarily think that's the case, but I do think it's a form of self-sabotage. And, by the way, the seven of challenges is an archetype and we did pull this card that is associated with self-sabotage, so so that's kind of an interesting thing and we are hitting these things at a pretty high level.
Speaker 1I want to point that out. I cannot think of everything, but I want to get people thinking and if we do get thinking, maybe we can have conversations right, and I'm always happy to have people on the show who want to talk about topics that are relevant to the things we talk about here at Blooming Wand. Now, moving on to discrimination and bias, this is definitely something I've experienced as a female entrepreneur and a woman in the corporate world the pay gap Despite equal qualifications and experience, women often earn less than men for the same work. I experienced that and the pay gap was huge and it was very disappointing to me when I experienced it. And I also would say, you know, kind of branching from the pay gap, that women sometimes feel they have to change or adapt or flex to fit into a male dominated industry, and that's sort of like well, this is the culture, so I have to fit into the culture if I'm going to be successful. And while that may be true and maybe you can be successful in doing that is it worth it if you can't be a true and authentic self? And I know that there's a rub there, right, it's like, well, there are certain realities in this world that we have to take on board, and so if I have to modify myself to endure those realities, then that's what I have to do, and fair enough, I totally get it.
Speaker 1But I think we have to be careful when it pushes us to compromise our values so much that we lose who we are. We forget who we are, and I know what it's like to be a female working in a while my industry was, oddly, predominantly female. Once we got up into the leadership roles, which I was in a leadership role, it was predominantly men, male. So we're talking about the technical fields here, and I often struggled with. Well, this is the way they all act, so maybe I should act that way too. But if you know me, you know I'm a person that really can't. I pretty much wear my feelings on my face and I don't hide much. So that didn't really last very long for me and I had to just be who I was. But I would say the number one thing for me was I did fall into the good girl trap and I'm still working on that. That's still a thing for me Now.
Speaker 1In terms of discrimination and bias, women also face barriers to advancement, such as being overlooked for promotions or leadership roles. I think that it depends on the industry, but I think that this is still something that happens in 2024. I know that. I've seen it personally myself. And the other thing I want to bring up is stereotyping, and that women are subjected to harmful stereotypes that can limit their perceived abilities or potential. So here's the one. Like we're literally dealing with this with the presidential election. One like we're literally dealing with this with the presidential election. We've got a woman on the ballot and, oh my gosh, if we see a woman elected to the office of president of the United States, I'll probably cry. And now I'm not like. I know there are problems with the United States government, but I never thought I'd see a female rise to the highest office of the United States. But look at the stereotypes Kamala Harris has been facing while she's been running for president. Look at the types of things that our former President, donald Trump, and the language that he's used to describe women. I think it describes perfectly discrimination and bias, and if you want to dive into that more deeply, I'd invite you to do some research for yourself, as it makes a great case study for how women um, what women endure when they have ambitious goals for themselves and are charting their own path.
Speaker 1The other thing that I think comes into play is the work-life balance. So there's something that I've heard called like the motherhood penalty, where women face discrimination or challenges when returning to work after having a child, leading to what I've guessed the industry refers to as like a motherhood penalty. This is a new term to me in terms of career advancements and earnings, and I also know that women who are breastfeeding and returning to work, having a place to pump or do different things like that, it's like, again, leaning into these values. We value our children, right, and we want to go back to work. And then we go back to work and we have no place to pump the breast milk quietly or a place to store in a refrigerator safely till we can get it home, and it's like we have to speak up for ourselves to do that. But then we get into the trap. If I speak up, I'm just squeaky wheel and I'm annoying people and when in fact, they should have these things in place of the workforce all ready.
Speaker 1So, again, kind of leaning back into our intention of effort and affirmation. People might, or women might just feel like I'm, I'm, I'm gonna sacrifice my family and just come to work and not do these things, even though I value it, because this is what I have to do. So these are the things that we're kind of dealing with, her talking about and, as you can see, the the original intention and affirmation makes it seem pretty simple, but when we dive into these concepts we realize, gosh, this is a lot more, there's more to it, there's always more to it, which is why I think tarot archetypes are so interesting and I'm always trying to make an effort, particularly through the podcast, to demonstrate that, while I love to present these tarot curated insights, it's helpful to work with them for two weeks or more, because they will reveal so much about life and so much about our experiences. And there's another thing I'm just looping back sorry I went off on a tangent there but with women in the workforce or women entrepreneurs, the work-life balance so women after particularly having kids, life balance so women after particularly having kids want to request a flexible work arrangement or reduced hours might be perceived as less committed or just problematic, because it's like, well, yeah, they just had a baby, so they're going to want to work less hours and that's going to be more work for us, and it's like you know, I see both sides, but we need to do better, right? So people don't feel like they're put into a situation where they're choosing between the lesser of two evils, right? So one of the things that there's so much more that we can talk about in terms of just what it's like to be a woman in the workforce or a woman entrepreneur and I've barely scratched the surface, but I couldn't help but draw a parallel between this intention and affirmation to what it's like to be a woman with a career and how that played out for me in terms of shortcuts, sacrificing values, trying to get ahead and meeting my goals and how complicated that can be at different points in our lives.
Speaker 1And so, while I did mention at the beginning of the podcast that career is not the only place that this intention and affirmation can come into play, there are so many other ways that it can. For me, for whatever reason, career was the first place that I went to, and I'm not really sure why that is, but I think it might be because that was where I really felt these challenges come up for me and where they're still coming up for me and I'll also be exploring where they might be coming up for me in other areas of my life. That'll be part of my self-work. Now, how do we address these challenges right? And I feel like, okay, we've talked about sort of these intersections of values and goals and wanting to get ahead and achieving success, whatever that means for you. So how do we address the challenges? So I feel like promoting gender equity is one way we can.
Speaker 1So if you're stuck in that good girl archetype, that good girl mindset, and you see your female cohorts or companions or anybody else other people not maybe being served or honored in the ways that they should speak up and say something and implementing policies and practice that support gender equity is really important, especially in the workplace, providing mentorship and support for women. I think this would have been really helpful to me. I don't think I had some very, very good mentors in my professional life, which is kind of sad, but I didn't have a female role model that I could look up to and, sadly, a lot of the females that I either worked for or who were in leadership positions didn't want to mentor me and didn't want to support me and were actually, at times very cruel to me, which is something that breaks my heart to say. But offering opportunities for women to network, learn from experienced professionals maybe therapists, maybe people who know how to build gender equity in the workforce can help build confidence and, frankly, cultivate hope. And I think finding people who you can share shared experiences with is also really helpful, because it can help you to feel seen and less hopeless. Because it can help you to feel seen and less hopeless. Encouraging open conversations about gender stereotypes and discrimination is also something that I can be helpful. I'm hoping this podcast is helpful because it is a conversation. We're just diving into something and I hope we're all getting thinking about this and how we can help move the needle in the right direction. I think creating supportive work environments is very helpful, so fostering a culture of respect, inclusivity and a work-life balance for everybody is really helpful.
Speaker 1Now, how do we maintain our authenticity when we have to show up in challenging environments? And this is something I'm really diving into and I've revisited this several times in my life, and so I think I've got it distilled down into some core strategies, and the first is self-awareness. So you got to understand your values and your strengths and your boundaries. We talk a lot about boundaries here, and if you want to find some good resources around boundaries, I always recommend Nedra Tawwab Glover's book Hold on, let me look. It's called Set Boundaries, find Peace, and she also has a book called Drama Free Great if you don't know what boundaries are or how to cultivate them. Guess what I didn't, and reading those books really helped me, and it's something that I'm still working on.
Speaker 1But boundary work comes up a lot, or just talking about boundaries, and I don't know that we all really understand what that means. Fair enough, so we educate ourselves. Another core strategy is clear intention, so defining your goals and aligning them with your values, which we've already talked about. A support network this is so helpful, so building relationships with people who support you and your authentic self, people who understand you and your values and, when you're struggling, can see and understand what that struggle is and they can listen to you. I know that this has been really, really helpful to me, especially as I've kind of grown Blooming Wand and encountered some just different challenges, as that network and being able to talk to people about what I've been going through has been so helpful.
Speaker 1I also think that effective communication is important. So we as individuals need to clearly express our values and boundaries, or at least demonstrate them through mindful action, and not be so self-sacrificing so not sacrificing values and not sacrificing our boundaries or our sense of self to just simply please other people or be seen as good or successful. I'm telling you it's not worth it. It hasn't been worth it in my life to sacrifice that, and I have done it. I have done it. Sometimes I still fall into that trap, but I'm slowly but surely, as a 43-year-old woman, finally kind of starting to recognize that it's not a path I want to continue to be on.
Speaker 1Reflection and adjustment is another really helpful strategy, and this is something we really lean into here at Blooming Wand, as we do reflect. That's what these podcasts are about. I don't claim to have all the answers. I make mistakes and I put my foot in my mouth, but I can reflect and I can adjust and I can do better next time, and this is how the learning process goes. So we want to continuously evaluate our actions and make necessary adjustments and just do the best that we can. And, believe me, I do believe that we are all doing the best that we can and we just need to keep doing that the best that we can, and we just need to keep doing that.
Speaker 1Some additional things that maybe would be helpful is practicing mindfulness, which is essentially paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, to stay grounded in the present moment and I always laugh about this because, yeah, mindfulness is super important and being in the present moment is a really wonderful thing. We really can't escape the present moment. We can try, but we're always going to come back to it. Right, but sometimes being in the present moment is hard. You might be feeling intense emotions, you might be going through a situation that you want to get away from or escape from, and that's also fair enough. I think that we want to be aware of what our body is telling us in situations, because those sensations can often become helpful guides to understanding our boundaries and maybe some adjustments that we need to make for ourselves in the future. And again, another tip would be to set boundaries.
Speaker 1Learn to say no to requests or opportunities that don't align with your values, and this is something I'm working on. You don't have to give people explanations for every darn thing. If something doesn't feel right to you or if it's not something you have the energy to do. Or, frankly, if it's something you don't want to do, I would just say no, and my little sister learned this phrase from, I think it was someone in her husband's family. When somebody wants something and you're like I don't know if I want to do that, you can say it's just not possible right now. Not possible, that won't be possible. So practice saying that without feeling the need to give anybody any explanations, because you don't owe anybody any explanations. If the answer is no, it's no.
Speaker 1Finding role models is something else. Like that's been kind of hard for me. I wonder if it's been the case for you. But looking for individuals who embody authenticity and integrity. And boy, when I find somebody who's authentic and I feel is an integrity, I really do love them and hold them close. And I'm not saying that being authentic and integrity means they're perfect or they're doing everything right all the time, but it usually comes with a person who's compassionate, empathetic and curious and self reflectivereflective. And I have had role models in my life that were both personal and ones I've seen out in the world.
Speaker 1And there's one role model that came to me very early in my life and she's a woman who I still really admire and even thinking about her right now, I have to admit to getting a little bit teary-eyed. And it's Jane Goodall have to admit to getting a little bit teary-eyed, and it's Jane Goodall, the primatologist who studied chimpanzees, and just her advocacy for animals and the environment and how she observed and learned, with trying to do as little harm to the places that she was studying as possible, and I just think she's wonderful. And she's obviously an elderly woman now she's an elder, she's a wise one, and when she speaks about the destruction and climate injustice and climate change, one of the things that just makes me feel this admiration for her is that she doesn't ever give up hope, and I think that that's an important thing is not to give up hope. So role models can really help us stay true to ourselves. Just Jane Goodall stayed true to herself and look at all that she's done. The other thing this is a good one and this is another one I chuckle about because I'm thinking about past Emily, who would have really rolled her eyes at this and that's taking breaks.
Speaker 1It's good to take breaks. You don't want to burn out and you need to schedule time for rest and relaxation, and I love my job and I love working, and sometimes I just I'm like the little engine that could. I just keep on going and going and I realized, well, you haven't had any Emily time and you haven't had any rest, and so I have to literally block it out on my schedule or I just kind of keep going. I might be a workaholic, I don't know. I'm still working on that. But taking breaks is really important and I think taking breaks throughout the day so it's easy to get wrapped up in our tasks and our to-dos and other people and meetings and talking and the internet and all this stuff, and it's like whoa, I haven't gotten out of my chair, I haven't had water, I haven't walked, taken a little walk. So and you know me, I'm a big proponent of 10 minutes of quiet time every day if that's all you can do. But taking breaks is really, really helpful.
Speaker 1And, lastly, this was the theme for the last moon cycle, which is celebrate your progress and your journey, acknowledge your efforts and achievements, no matter how big or small, because you've come a long way, baby. You've done a lot of things, you've learned a lot of stuff, and when's the last time you looked back and thought of all the things that you've been through and all the things that you've learned, and you're an awesome person and I'm so glad that you've been through and all the things that you've learned, and you're an awesome person and I'm so glad that you're here. And just let's remember that maintaining authenticity is a journey, it's a process, it's something that we're constantly refining and it takes time and effort and self-awareness. But hopefully some of the strategies we've talked about, some of the examples that have been given, will give you some insight, some jumping-off points to consider this moon cycles theme. So let's do this thing that we always do, where we loop back, and I read you our intention and affirmation one last time. So here it is, here's our intention.
Speaker 1In today's fast-paced world, doing whatever it takes to get ahead can be a seductive option and, while taking shortcuts or sacrificing values may seem like a quick way to get ahead, these actions can ultimately lead to negative consequences, including guilt, shame and a loss of integrity. Here's your affirmation I can stay true to my ethics and values and become successful, whatever that means to you, on your own terms. Well, I'm so glad that you joined me for this episode of the Blooming Wand podcast. Don't forget to sign up for the newsletter or check out my online shop. I've got tarot spreads, journals that don't require tarot, cards, all kinds of self-reflection tools. Take good care of yourselves. Get those journals out and I'll see you on the full moon.